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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in couldntloveyou's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, May 1st, 2005
5:25 am
Back bitches.
Ok sorry LJ, I realized that I need you in my life.
For shit talking purposes and as a method of killing time, you time consuming son of a bitch I love you.
There is much to talk about:
-$400 wasted in two weeks on DvDs
-friends are really what u make them out to be.
-alcohol makes me happy.
-lourdes girls ARE in fact cockeyed.
-treating girls like shit is just payback for ALL the bs they have put me and my brothers through over the years, you sluts are fucking evil so get fucked :)
-Film has become the second most important thing in my life aside from my illustrations.
-I shroomed, that was a laugh riot.
-I love realizing how much people really DONT matter in this world.
-But I love the ones that I call friends.
-IAMSPOONBENDER owns your face.
-I need to start getting my portfolio together.
-I will attend New World college after the summer, fuck IFAC and AI (unable to transfer credits to good colleges)
umm nothing else comes to mind right now.
holla fatties.

Current Mood: creative
Sunday, April 10th, 2005
7:15 pm
havent done this in a lil bit
whats been up:
-seeing old friends <3333
-work is great
-i want to start school already
-i might go to fiji soon
-tearin up the dance fl0!
-grey goosin it
-may is going to be great: Jens back, Scuberts back and Boston again.
-makin brandon boyd appearances...FUCKING BS!
-been really happy lately
-im lookin real fucking good, bitches.
-wasting tons of cash
-livin it up

hate hate hate!
poice, Bitches.

Current Mood: creative
Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
12:34 am
Everything is flawless.
I love being perfect.
I love having fans.
You cannot be me, bitches.
Keep trying. :)
Everything is perfect.
I wish I could stop time while we're in eachothers arms.
It feels so right.
Im fucking rich.
And my dick is bigger than yours.
Jealous much?
I though so faggots.
Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate.


Current Mood: perfect
Monday, March 21st, 2005
10:39 pm
"You know you can't hold me forever
I didn't sign up with you
I'm not a present for your friends to open
This boy's too young to be singing the blues"

Elton John knows whats up.
Ive never been happier.
Life is so good, especially when u have an answer for anything that comes your way.
Slow day.
Disney soon.
Picnic this weekend.
Everyone wants to fuck me, yes you too.
Word gets around fast eh?
I was not lying.
Im rich.
You know im yours <3.

Current Mood: creative
Friday, March 18th, 2005
1:15 am
Things are getting pretty serious! I mean...
The two weirdest days ever!
Peep this bitches:
-woke up
-jam session
-vocals on fire
-job interview
-new job
-$9 an hour
-news about new car
-taco bell
-best sleep ever

thats a pretty fucking good day if you ask me.
Now for the bad shit!

-wake up
-awful hangover
-cant eat due to drug test
-drink sick pee cleansing solution
-go through 4 hour process
-pee about 978678678 times
-finally take the test after 2 1/2 hour waiting period
-wait for my friend to take test
-he cant pee
-wait another 3 hours, still cant pee
-by this time I am half dead in his car starving and passing out ever 5 min
-he gets out, still didnt pee so he lost the job and a $45 pee cleanser
-almost faint on the way home
-finally get something in my stomach
-rejected by the solution which also made everything i ate taste awful
-I pass out once again
-wake up, time to party
-go to the same bs club and see the same bs faces bahhh
-get kicked out for drinking and telling off the fat nigger bouncer
-and ended with the highlight of taco bells fiesta salad bs

awful night!

-Get clean
-get new schedule
-get to see Nataly <3
-things are getting pretty serious
-dinner and lots more
-who knows

tomorrow is going to own!!!!!!

I was trying to think of the people who have had a really positive impact on my life, the ones that stand out for being themselves. I could only think of a few heads at the moment...
-Ericka: Started off with a love hate relationship, me wanting to bone her friend and her wanting mine I guess? Later hanging out and becoming really tight, she is in my top 3 for my fav girls of all time. My teta!
-Daniel: Even though I just recently met this guy he has become a really close friend, we share alot of the same interest and we also share alot of views on life in general. Death metal dawg, down as fuck kid.
-Nadinne: Overall one of the coolest carefree girls ive ever met, also in my top 3 fav girls of all time. Down to earth and always puts a smile on my face, girl could break it down too!
-Scubert: my oldest friend, my best friend of all time. Ive been through everything with this kid, I miss him like shit and distance along with other bs really puts a burden in our friendship but that cacksukah will always be my boy.
-Anthony:I would have never guessed id meet this kid at a fucking bs summer camp full of idiots, but the first day when I heard him say "morrissey" I knew he was a cool cat, tripped out at this job cuz of him. This nigga trusted my hair cutting skills which eventually led him to shaving his head(his fault) overall a bad ass kid, libra also. I just wish that mofo would drink some goose with his boy or eat some raw meat! damn it!

thats all i could think of right now, if you feel differently let me know.


Current Mood: content
Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
8:27 pm
Add another broken heart to your chart, bitch.
My deep thoughts:
I keep realizing how shitty everyone is...
Im eating alot of chicken soup...
Ive been acting like a slut lately...
Makeout sluts are pathetic, atleast go all the way you dumb bitch.
My head hurts.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day.
No school thursday.
My dick is your reason for living.
Puritans were stupid.
wannabe indies + confused + preps = district
I wanna start a catchy band.
I want to set a few heads on fire.
I want to pee on people.
I want to own an elephant ear stand.
That Helena song reminds me of this girl I once spoke to.
I need to open up my own club, and become the door man. (no fatties or sausage allowed)
IFAC tomorrow.
Why did satan make me so hot?
Why you bitches always hating?
Why you gotta be all up in my shit?
Use what you got to get what u want! :) smart bitch.

Current Mood: bored
Sunday, March 6th, 2005
11:13 pm
Any sex is personal...
great weekend!
Things to remember:
-Lourdes girls are CRAZY! Stalker type shit. Hot stalkers, I love it.
-Grey Goose + Herb = pretty ripped.
-Destroy naughty pics
-Give Katie back her undies
-Stop throwing drinks out of car.
-Jealous people will go great lengths to fuck your shit up.
-Coffee with Nicole
-Get my numbers back
-get my shit back from everyone that has my stuff.
-transfer to IFAC
-coke head girls are fun :)
-Fucking to the faint is great
-im so hot right now
-I always get who/what I want!!!!

-Bruce Banner

Current Mood: ecstatic
Saturday, March 5th, 2005
4:51 am
ahhhh fucket!
Today consisted of:
-sick hangover
-dennys breakfast
-cough meds
-grey goose
-cuban coffee
-fucking boca raton girls
-round 2 fucking session
-incriminating photos
-the club
-the smiths
-red bull n vodka
-2 hours from now...0o0o0o o0o0o0o round 3, bitches.

yea...envy me.
and my big fat cock. Bitches.

Current Mood: crazy
Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
8:51 pm
0o0o0o0 o0o0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0 I SMOKE ROKZ!
I got into MICA (not my 1st choice) but atleast its something.
I will soon transfer to IFAC just to end the year focussing on art instead of honors english along with figure drawing because I really have no reason to be taking the course.
0o0o0o0o0 everything went so well!
I knew something nice had to happen soon, I cant wait to see what my other options are though.
Im still applying to cooper union in ny and the museum of art in boston, maybe after there I could hit up art center in cali or go out of the US because the US sucks at everything except music.
Fucket, we tearin it up this week!

Current Mood: WTF!!!???
4:22 pm
Girl-"hey your sketchbook fell" Me- "HEY YOUR FAT!" Girl- *cries*
What a weird day, ive been on edge the whole time.
As you can see from my title ive been rather dickheadish today.
Im really happy though...like if I know something good is coming, me and my premonitions.
My interview with MICA is in 3 1/2 hours!!!! Ive never been so scared...what will I do!?
No wonder im so stressed, its been the only thing on my mind lately.
It would just be so much easier if for once I had someone real to go through this drama with.
Not just a scam or slut, Ive actually wanted someone for some time now.
But I dont go around looking for it and that just makes things worse.
Its so hard to find the best of both worlds (brains/looks)
My friends are freaking out, Ive never been like this! "is he hanging up his title belt?"
hahaha Ms.Kenzy told me shes heard stories about my sex life...I need to hear these stories.
I WREAK OF AIDS! W0o0o0o0o
Im actually cleaner than most of these self proclaimed "virgins" you guys know.
My journal starts so much drama...and changes peoples moods towards me! :)
Yet I have 3 friends added, but still I know all these LOSER FAGGOTS that read my journal in order to start drama or base their shittalking on some random quote I made.
CuntXsplatteR practice tomorrow! Todds back bitches!

Current Mood: nervous
Sunday, February 27th, 2005
7:15 pm
plain and simple...
Im tired...
Tired of shitty people.
Tired of games.
I wish I had someone that knew what they wanted.
That was not confused and immature.
Someone who has expirienced.
Someone real, who is not just good looking.
Someone who will just be and does not care about others.
I cant take this shit, why is everyone in Miami so fucking retarded?
I think its something in the water.
Seems like everyones just looking to get fucked, so be it.
I hope you get fucked in the worst possible scenario.
Now we finish this painting.

Read more...Collapse )

Current Mood: artistic
Saturday, February 26th, 2005
4:02 pm
"beating hearts baby"? This heart no longer beats...baby :)
Goooood shit last night!
-met up with the kids n rode
-busted a stupid mission in order to get the underage girl in...wtf
-finally got to rip shit
-hit up the stage
-llama is the worst wingman ever!
-met 3 nice ladies that go to fiu
-danced with them for most of the night, molested? yea what else is new (waking up with dollars in your underwear is cool I guess)
-met up with llama again and walked around
-busted another mission for the little girl, neverafuckingain! i dont need stress while im having fun.
-heard some rather disturbing news, all my love sent your way...sorry
-I SAW CHRISTY!!!! wtf n Kat n NADINNE!!! I had not seen Christy since...damn. She looked amazing last night.
-we left around 4ish i think...
-taco bell...

thats it bitches! round 3 tonight!

Current Mood: anxious
Friday, February 25th, 2005
6:18 pm
strike 3?
now that I am sober.
its time for random thoughts.
I hate immaturity.
I love how people dont realize how good something was until its gone.
I hate coloring.
red bull is crap w/o grey goose.
you will always love them more than they love you.
ericka and myself are officially better than everyone.
is it really over this time?
that was my first time trying.
this is my first time giving up.
do i look like a slut?
I guess life is better when your alone.
I should be sponsored by chicken kitchen.
I love not giving a fuck.
thank you zoloft hahahaha jk
tonight...we tear it upppp!

Current Mood: creative
3:25 pm
Are you having sex on my car!?
Last Night:
-Dancing (Erickaaa,jojo,nadinne,nat,christy n her friends)
-Drinking (1/2 grey goose bottle, 3 berry GG's n 3 red bull GG's)
-3 numbers :-X 0o0o0o
-peeing in the girls bathroom
-$180 tab
-weird mood
-reys pizza @ 5:30 am
-making fun of the beaver lady
-picking up hookers
-big mistake

I wanna see everyone tonight, it was tooo much fun last night.

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
2:48 am
what are you trying to prove?
sum up this night!
-3 hours to get ready
-lookin fire
-killed the goose
-club was gayyyy
-bbq chips were orgasmic
-overall my fohawk was the best, yes.
-mike trying to kill a cat
-mike proving his manliness by trying to choke the cat out...lame
-mike being veryyyyyyyyyyy drunk
-mike talking shit while im leaving messages on ppl's phones!!!
-mike chewing too much tobacco and getting *fadededed*
-mike inviting us to reys pizza, which was very nice of him
-mike knocking over every fucking trash can in westchester
the list goes on...it was just mikes night
no tearing up the dance floor tonight, thursday will be fun :)
school tomorrow...gayness

Current Mood: tired
Monday, February 21st, 2005
8:54 pm
First HIGH entry in 8 months!
I am high, yes...Ive been painting all day so I am pretty gone right now.(bare with your boy)
-Coffee with Ericka and Jo last night was a trip like always.
-Grey Goose has taken over my life.
-my fohawk is better than yours.
-this paint smell is killing me
-my room is khaki now, cant stand the whiteness
-my 4 pack is toight!
-I wanna go to disney :(
-I smell fucking good
-My weekend was good
-tonight we dance it up!
-dancing hard as fuck
-Lush is back bitches!!!
-tonight will be interesting im sure of it!

keep you fans posted!
although you asses love reading my shit but never commenting...that goes for the lurkers as well as my ppl.

Current Mood: ecstatic
1:00 am
This song gives me that feeling...
"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you"

Soft and only
Lost and lonely
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

Soft and only
Lost and lonely
Just like heaven

Current Mood: happy
Sunday, February 20th, 2005
12:00 pm
What a shitty night...
-I turn lezbos str8? lol
-I was pissed for nooooo reason!
-haters always gonna hate, yea you pussy boi!
-My name: Lush...plain n simple
-I was lookin fire last night, toooo bad every club was gay.
-Contrary to popular belief I am (no bodys) boy toy.
-grey goose saves the day again!
-"accidental" phone calls are funny and childish
-we're not in middle school anymore dorathy
-and you wondered why I am crazy.
-im moving out soon
-cant fucking wait!

-the lush

Current Mood: busy
Saturday, February 19th, 2005
2:48 pm
Everyone thinks im blind...
If you insist on pictures of shorelines
then i insist on pages of your lines meant for me,
to be sent to me.

Remember watching the storms from the lifeguard stand.
Remember feeling the tingling in my fingertips
when I touched your lips.

And I recall how you sat on the same side of me,
it always seemed that you'd always be on my side.
You're my best side.

And it's early June, so the sand's still dry,
and you have got the boldest eyes,
and I can't help but think it's right,
that inside you it's me I'll find.
And I'm still waiting.

And it's early June, so the sand's still dry,
and the storm off shore is not far behind.
And I'm still waiting.
Wednesday, February 16th, 2005
12:55 am
0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0!
I have an interview with MICA next week and if all goes well I will be moving to Maryland!
0o0o0o 0o0o0o 0o0o0o0o0! Good shit!
I had a blast yesterday I am a fucking Lush.
I think too much when im drunk, hence my last post but w/e
hopeless romantic.
morrissey knows whats up.
so hopefully this audition goes well, my moms all sad because it seems like she knows its going to happen.
your losing your little boy, wont see him for months at a time.
happiest two days everrrrrrrrr!
great valentines overall, started slow but ended with drunken bliss (which i love)
i want to see a few people before i go...if i dont try to contact you its for a reason :)

Current Mood: ecstatic
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